


"You're my everything."

by Anonymous



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parenting, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Fluff, Everything Hurts, F/M, Family Issues, Family bonding ?? Not sure tbh, Forgiveness, Guilt, Hate to Love???, Heavy Angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Incest, Incest, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Mother-Son Relationship, Nothing explicit, Older brother is like 16, One-Sided Relationship, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Please Don't Hate Me, Plot might be slow, Protective Siblings, Protectiveness, Short chapters bc I can't write long chapters qqqqqqqqqqqq, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Incest, Siblings, Slow To Update, Some Plot, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Tags Might Contain Spoilers, Tags aren't as bad as they sound I think, Younger brother is like 10, ambiguous - Freeform, forgive me for bad writing :((, oblivious younger brother, protective older brother, to be edit soon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-11 00:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17436617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: All he understood is his mother's words.So when he was told that his older brother was everything from birth, he didn't know how to break it off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a rush so there's most likely going to be a lot of errors qq I may come back to edit the chapter if I feel like it and there's nothing explicit since I can't write smut to save my life :( Read the tags for warnings. I might continue this or leave it as a one-shot

My older brother is strange.

Whenever he had to obey mother's orders, he repeatedly tells me, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If only I can be better for you," as he held me in his arms. Strangely enough, I felt comforted by the act.

Yet I don't recall a moment where his voice didn't sound so terribly sore. His voice always sounded dry and so in pain. I don't think he ever really did get better.

When I once asked my mother, her face turned so dark that she became a demon, emotions flashing on her face would be anger, disgust, and betrayal.

She says to me, "He just needs time."

Her emotions never did disappear. I don't ask any further. I had a feeling she wouldn't tell me anything else.

* * *

A place that's overly familiar with me is my older brother's room. Mother never really did gave me my own room,   
told me it was best if I stay with my older brother forever.

In his bedroom, we share a twin bed together, there was nothing really in my older brother's bedroom that pointed at him.

He only had a few picture frames in his room along with a camera that's been with him for years that sits  
on the table top beside our bed. Mother didn't allow me to have anything of my own so there was nothing I had.

She always told me for as long as I can remember, "All you need is your older brother."

Whenever my older brother hears her reciting this to me, he would subtly look away from me and shudder. His eyes would turn glassy as if he couldn't bear to be with me.

* * *

On a fairly normal day, after my session with my older brother, he would murmur repeatedly "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," as he clings onto me.

I ask him so quietly that he wouldn't have heard me if his voice had been any louder, "Do you hate me?"

All at once, he stops talking. He tenses. His tight hold loosens as he pulls me back. He stares at me, I stare back. His eyes were so glassy; it reminded me of a painting drawn too beautifully until it was stained by something ugly. I purse my lips together, regretting what I had asked. His body looks so wounded up strongly in a knot that I fear if I did anything else, he would run away. His hands are the last thing I remember leaving my too hot and too cold body.

At that moment, I felt so stupid and foolish that my shame grabbed at my ankles, and mother's voice would come into my mind with her lithe body behind me and soft silky hands holding my shoulders as her long smooth hair hanged around me, she whispers into my ear soothingly, "Older brother loves you. He always did. Nothing else can turn him away from that."

My brother's voice pulls me back away from her. His voice became so scratchy sounding that I was worried if he was sick. It sounded much like the terrible static on the TV that mother would turn on.

He tells me, his eyes looking onto his bedroom floor, "I could never hate you. I'm scared that you'll hate me."

I purse my lips tighter in confusion. He doesn't look back at me for the entirety of all our time in his bedroom.

What follows after that day is something vague.

Mother and my older brother would scream at each other. Their words unclear to me as they used words I never heard before.

I was hiding in my older brother's bedroom, not able to stand the ringing in my ears as they were only just arguing  
down the hallway next to the bedrooms.

The lasting sentences that I could remember were:

"Why can't you love him?!" Mother's voice screams frantically as if she was genuinely confused.

"This is wrong- This is only going to hurt him!" Brother's voice, sounding so guilty and in pain that I almost wanted to open the door.

At that, I hear the noise of someone slapping another. Before I knew what I was doing, I wrap my arms around my brother, clutching at  
his hands to stop anything else from happening. Mother's eyes look back at my older brother, her eyes reflecting hurt and wounds that she hid so deeply into herself that at exposure I'm not sure who she was anymore. Instantly all of that hurt dissipates and what lies on her is a snarl. Her hand that was holding her reddening cheek fell by her side as she punches my older brother in the face.

My older brother endures the hit as his fists clenched tightly, holding himself back from doing anything else. Mother says nothing else as she  
heads back down to her bedroom.

When we heard the shut of her door, my older brother's body unknots itself as his energy left him. He collapses on the ground pulling me along with him. I kiss the side of his temple as I move my hands around his waist, caressing his arms, I hummed a lullaby that he did for me when I was crying after a session. As I continue humming, my older brother's hands wrapped itself around mine.


	2. Absence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone reading this, I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for the kudos :0  
> (Probably not going to edit this till I feel like it x_x)  
> Also, the Italics are thoughts  
> Next chapter may come soon (maybe)

I recall that things stay the same for a while. Just that the only thing that changed after that incident is that my older brother would at times be out for long. Sometimes it was past midnight, sometimes longer, and during those days, Anxiety, my best friend would sit across me and stare at me, repeatedly asking, _When will he leave?_

 

On those days, I ignore the stench of something similar to burning, the way Anxiety’s mouth would gap open as disgusting blackness fell from within it, and how it felt forever until the door opens. Hope washes everything away and he’s back. I would jump out of the bed and hug him. I don’t ask him any questions.

 

Not about how he smells so bitter or why he looked like he was dying or where he was at or what was he doing.

 

In the dark of his bedroom, I hang onto his body.

 

He doesn’t hold back.

 

I swallow a lump down my throat.

 

Anxiety was still there.

 

I watch it mouths to me soundlessly, _he’s gone._

 

I shakily exhale, not knowing I had been holding my breath till I released it.

 

_He’s gone._

 


End file.
